deplore: (Default)
♕ ([personal profile] deplore) wrote2012-11-30 01:21 am

various winter-inspired shortfics.

fandom: Boyfriend - Donghyun, Youngmin, Kwangmin
length: ~650
rating: PG
description: Kwangmin and Youngmin huddle in front of a space heater, and Donghyun thinks to himself that there is more to their relationship than people can possibly understand.

People often say that their twins are awkward with each other, but Donghyun is not one of them. He thinks that they simply speak to each other in ways that people cannot easily understand. If he has read them well enough - a difficult task as it is - then most likely, is because there is a part of them that hesitates to put their relationship up for show: to protect themselves from ever accidentally pushing each other too hard, or saying something too much, they err on the side of caution and retreat to a language of subtle glances, where what they do not say to each other communicates far more between them than anybody else can possibly comprehend. This is how they balance being each others’ halves (an inherently private, intimate thing) alongside being idols, where their whole lives are put almost constantly on display. Donghyun cannot blame them for this because they are still young, still growing, and not yet independent enough to know what parts of themselves that they can define without each other. They have the same parents, they go to the same school, they are part of the same band - if they inadvertently hurt each other, at this age when they are likely to remember it forever, then there will be no place for them to go to be by themselves and to heal. They are not uncomfortable with each other so much as they are uncomfortable with the idea of causing each other pain.

Sometimes, though, Donghyun sees them let their guard down. Once it starts getting cold, they seem to instinctively gravitate towards each other - more than once, he has watched them will exchange glances from across the room and move almost simultaneously. Kwangmin takes the blanket off of the sofa and Youngmin scoops up his backpack and some pillows and they settle in front of the space heater, lying on their stomachs just closely enough that their legs touch in the middle, and they share Youngmin’s textbook between them as they take notes for their English class. Without even asking permission first, they flip through the pages at their own pace; each of them patiently waits for the other to finish before they go forward together.

After fifteen, twenty minutes pass of them studying quietly with each other and Donghyun carefully observing them across the room, trying to discreetly hide his staring behind a graphic novel, Youngmin looks up and over and says, “Hyung, is something wrong?”

Donghyun shakes his head. “Not at all,” he says, trying not to be embarrassed at being caught.

“Okay,” Youngmin says, and smiles a bit vacantly. “I thought you were looking over here, for some reason.”

“Just wondering whether or not that’s comfortable,” he says. “Isn’t the floor hard?”

“Not really,” Kwangmin says. “It’s warmest here.”

“It’s cold in the dorm, you know,” Youngmin adds. “But you hyungs don’t get cold that easily, and we don’t keep the heating up that high. So we have to stay warm somehow.”

“He’s worse than me, though. You should touch his hands, they’re like ice cubes,” Kwangmin says, even though Donghyun hasn’t seen them directly touching the whole time: even when they take turns turning pages, they seem to be so aware of each others’ movements that they never bump hands, or accidentally brush past each other.

“Not that much worse,” Youngmin murmurs.

“We can turn up the heat, if you want,” Donghyun says, and his eyes crinkle around the sides slightly as he jokes, “I don’t want to get a reputation for making my dongsaengs freeze, you know?”

But both of them shake their heads. “It’s alright,” Kwangmin says, and Youngmin nods in agreement. “I’m warm now.”

There is no time when either of them look so radiant, so complete, Donghyun thinks, as when they are like this with each other.

- - -

fandom: Exo - Baekyeol
length: ~850
rating: PG
description: Chanyeol's hands are cold and Baekhyun's are warm, but Baekhyun lets him hold them together anyway, even though he is not in love.

“The first day it snows, and of course I get caught outside without a winter coat,” Chanyeol says, attempting to crack a joke while he shivers in his lightweight jacket as they walk to their university’s music building. Baekhyun would laugh, but Chanyeol can’t quite mask the look of obvious discomfort in his face, and he thinks it would be too cruel to openly mock him at a time like this.

“Joonmyun hyung will yell at you when we get to practice, I’m sure of it,” Baekhyun replies wryly, but he takes off his right glove and offers it over.

“Maybe,” Chanyeol says, far too cheerfully, as he takes it and puts it on. “But Joonmyun always gets upset and never punishes us, so it’s okay.”

Before Baekhyun can shove his now bare hand into his pants pocket, Chanyeol reaches over and grabs it with his free hand - Chanyeol is cold and Baekhyun feels a tiny shiver jolt down his spine. “You’re freezing, you idiot,” Baekhyun mutters, but he doesn’t shake it off.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol says. Baekhyun isn’t sure whether or not he believes it, because he has a feeling Chanyeol knows that even though Baekhyun complains he wouldn’t let go.

“Just remember to dress warmly next time,” he says.

Chanyeol laughs a little and promises him, but Chanyeol says a lot of things to please a lot of people. Baekhyun understands this part of Chanyeol well, because he himself is much like that, too: an inordinate people pleaser, somebody who would rather say what people want to hear than what he actually believes. The only difference is that Baekhyun does it willfully and Chanyeol unconsciously.

“It’s not all bad, though,” Chanyeol says. “Girls like a guy that’s warm-blooded, don’t they?”

Baekhyun snorts. “We’re all warm-blooded, you idiot. I think you mean might mean hot-blooded.”

“You know what I mean! They’ll think I’m tough and rugged and reliable.”

“Any girl who has seen you with your bedhead already thinks you’re rugged, Chanyeol. Just not in the way you want them to think it,” Baekhyun teases.

Chanyeol makes a face and Baekhyun laughs. “Always crushing my hopes and dreams,” Chanyeol says, pretending to sound mournful.

It’s ironic, Baekhyun thinks, because Chanyeol can crush his own hopes and dreams without even realizing it. “Somebody has to keep you grounded,” he replies.

“Keeping me grounded is one thing. Keeping my face pressed to the pavement is another,” Chanyeol says.

“You like it, don’t lie,” he replies, and smirks as he jabs at Chanyeol’s side lightly with his elbow.

Chanyeol hums a little as he considers this before smiling and giving an exaggerated wink. “Only when you do it,” he says.

Before he can stifle the feeling, Baekhyun feels his heart tighten. He almost lets go of Chanyeol’s hand, but he doesn’t, and just smiles tightly. “You’re really gross sometimes,” he says. It’s an ironic thing for him to say, because he feels mildly disgusted with himself for trying to fool himself into believing that he can keep doing this and not feel like he’s sticking pins into himself over and over again, in all his most sensitive parts.

“Only for you,” Chanyeol replies, squeezing his hand lightly, and Baekhyun allows himself to imagine that they are something more, walking together through the first snowfall of the year for just a few moments. He imagines Chanyeol leaning over, brushing the snowflakes out of his hair and pressing his lips to Baekhyun’s forehead affectionately, and he knows it will never be like that because even when Chanyeol has had girlfriends he has never treated them so affectionately before and he cannot truly believe Chanyeol would treat him more gently than he would a girl.

(In truth, Baekhyun does not think he is in love with Park Chanyeol, because he has a clear picture of who Park Chanyeol is: he is the type of person who, in the middle of winter, wakes up late and rolls out of bed and forgets to put a coat on but remembers to grab his MP3 player and earbuds before running off to class, already ten minutes late. He already knows too much about all the things he dislikes about Chanyeol that he cannot overlook or forgive or endure to truly be in love with him. Rather, he thinks he is in love with the idea of being in love with his best friend. Somehow, though, the delusion is a comfortable one, though - something that makes him feel a less numb in his fingers and toes when the temperature drops below freezing. It is a safe fantasy to have, because it will never come true.)

The moment that they arrive to the music building, Chanyeol lets go, just like Baekhyun knew he would. “It wasn’t that bad,” Chanyeol says, and he smiles the smile where his whole face lights up - the smile Baekhyun knows is real. “It’s not that cold when we walk together, you know?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agrees, and tries his best to believe that the coldness Chanyeol leaves on his hands is outweighed by the warmth in his heart.

- - -

fandom: Infinite - Woohyun
length: ~350
rating: PG
description: When the weather turns cold, Woohyun spends more and more time in the kitchen and finds happiness at the dinner table.

When winter comes, Woohyun cooks. He makes thick, warm stews and spends hours slow-roasting meat. Almost once every two weeks, he dedicates time to making kimchi that they don’t need (“I’m begging you, Woohyun, you need to stop,” Sunggyu tells him after the third round that month, “it’s not that it’s not good, because it’s delicious, but we’re running out of space to put it all and there’s only so many times we can give kimchi as gifts before it starts getting a little weird, you know?”) and he spends an inordinate amount of time making so many side dishes for each dinner that they always have enough leftovers for an entirely separate meal afterwards. It’s worse this year because he doesn’t have as much to do as he usually does, so he occupies his free time in the kitchen and teaches himself how to make new foods.

“Winter is a time to feed your body and your soul,” his grandmother once told him, and cooking does feed his soul - watching the rest of Infinite eat what he makes for them, smiling and talking cheerfully and complimenting his hard work is intensely gratifying in an entirely different way than singing is, to him - but he spends so much time in the kitchen and barely eats anything at all. He never eats breakfast, and picks at his lunch and dinner.

“I’m on a diet,” he tells the rest of them, even though he has no activities and doesn’t need to, not if he doesn’t want to. Nobody questions it - none of them ever comment on each others’ diets or exercise routines if they can help it - although Dongwoo often says, “But it’s really a pity, you know, because everything you make is so delicious and you’re the only one who doesn’t get to properly enjoy it.”

It doesn’t matter, Woohyun wants to say. He gets more sustenance from their happiness than anything else: if one could feed themselves on good cheer and positive feelings than he would never want for food again.

- - -

author's notes: it snowed recently, so i wrote about winter. but honestly, none of these are actually about winter...?  i like the first and third but in the second i got confused about where it was going (haha...ha) because i didn't want to write a typical unrequited-love-for-your-best-friend fic. the third one is fairly personal, but in a vague way. i think maybe some people will know what i mean when i say that, but not everybody, and that's okay! i'm of the opinion that when it comes to writing, people should take things for what they think they are and not worry about what they think the writer wants them to take things for. 

also, i really don't know much about boyfriend but i wish i knew more bc i have been jamming out to janus for the last week. the first is my gut reaction to what i do know about them. this is one of the few things i wrote on paper originally.

even though these are short, i hope they are enjoyable. also, allow me to not-so-subtly advertise this post i made asking for prompts (¬‿¬)

[identity profile] 2012-12-01 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, read the EXO and Infinite ones; so true. Woohyun seems like the type--and the Sunggyu kimchi comment is just precious. unrequited!Baekyeol is just...I dunno, winter-y?

[identity profile] 2012-12-01 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
thank you for reading & commenting! i'm glad you enjoyed o/